Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
