it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
