My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
