so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
