Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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