If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
