it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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