Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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