I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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