living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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