I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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