lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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