Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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