forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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