U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
