guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
