I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
