Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
