If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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