He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize