He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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