she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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