This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
