Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize