I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
