And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
