He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
