We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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