How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize