she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize