my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
