so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
