i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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