She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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