I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize