So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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