Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is my gift to your gina
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
