I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
