if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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