Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
