I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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