Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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