he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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