3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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