I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
