After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
