Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
