So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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