i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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