I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
