david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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