FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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