i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
