sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
