I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize