is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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