Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
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I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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