News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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