Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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