ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
