it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
