Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
